HELP ME ?!?! I am 5 months pregnant & I have a bf(my babys father).........?

that is doing drugs ! HEROIN..i believe.. he lies %26amp; says he is not doing anything but he disappears for a few hours.. doesnt call or anything ..%26amp; has all the symtoms.. restricted pupils, red eyes, itchy skin, nausea, lowered sex drive, %26amp; a sense of euphoria..for a few hours after he disappears. Then he crashes %26amp; is tired....da da da...Anyway, I didn't even notice all these things ..my dad, cousin %26amp; her bf pointed this out. As I put things together they added up , what am I to do?! I want to go to Walgreens buy a drug test make him take it ..if he fails keep it %26amp; take it to court .. ..How should I approach this?... I am still with him .. we don't live together %26amp; I 've tried talking to him about it , he always says now is not the time. ANyway, How should I approach this w/out of EXPLODING!I don't want my child ever in his care if he is doing this stuff. Its not good ! What should I do.. I just recently started keeping a mini journal..I can't stick around much longer but I want evidence!

HELP ME ?!?! I am 5 months pregnant %26amp; I have a bf(my babys father).........?
make sure you don't live with him and don't worry. When you go to court tell them your concerns and ask for a test.
Reply:you really think asking a bunch of strangers on the internet is gonna get you answers???
Reply:As soon as the baby is born file for sole custody. Go down to your local child support prosecuting attorneys office and file court against him. Then when you get in front of the judge as for them to drug test both of you. This way it doesnt look like you are doing it out of spite. Good luck. If all else fails get a restraining order to keep him away from the baby..
Reply:That is really sad for the baby. The baby is the true victim in all of this and did not ask to be brought into this situation.





It is too bad that people dont think about the consequences of all their actions before they do things that bring innocent souls into this world.
Reply:Keep your distance.


For your babies and your sake.


Right now added stress is the worst thing for you.





Just keep well away. If he comes near you call


the police. You dont need the hassle and right now


your main concern is your baby. Either he'll stop


by himself or he'll die. Quite basically.





I know people who have done heroine and I've


seen how they react when questioned. Its not


a good situation for a pregnant lady.





Take care of yourself and your baby.


and good luck.
Reply:That's a tough thing to do really. Most people would take offense to such a thing, regardless of approach. Unfortunately, the only way I can really think of to avoid that at the moment is to lie...which I don't consider any better. You would have to say it's a health inspection of sorts.
Reply:It sounds like to me you would be better off being a single mother than the child having a father that is on drugs. How he has been with his other children should show you that he isn't capable of being a good father while he is on the drugs.
Reply:right, its time to grow up fast - no matter how old or young you are!!!!


never mind whether you've got evidence or not, just get rid of him immediately and save yourself a lot of trouble and heartache!!!


he's obviously not father material, and you certainly do not want him around your baby!! or yourself, for that matter.


if he's going to just keep disappearing for hours at a time anyway, what kind of life would that give you when you need support with your baby, never mind the fact that he 's perhaps on drugs.


follow your instinct, you'd be more right than you'd like!!


keep away, and sort any court related things out if and when they crop up !!!!!!!
Reply:Well asking a bunch of stragers on the internet does help you!!!! But anyways, You cant force him to take a drug test! But if you end up in court and reuqest one, he has to take it! You need to go ahead and get statmenst and things from the other childs mother and when you go to court bring up his past situations! The Judge will look into them! And also Im not sure if your wanting to or not! But If your not wanting to give him any rights of the Baby, Do Not give the Baby his last name or Do Not let him put his name on the Birth Certificate! Believe it or not, these 2 things make it easier for him to get rights! And if he changes his life style in the end you can always easily put him on the Birth certificate and give the Baby his last name if wanted! I hope evrything works out for you! I was basically in the same situation about 2 years ago and My Dumb *** decided to change in the end after not getting to see the baby! Good Luck!
Reply:The first thing is not to put him on the birth certificate. If he wants to have rights he will have to go to court to get them. At that time you could bring up your concerns and ask the court to drug test you. Keep a record, in your journal of the thing he does that make you worry, you may need it. If he does have a problem you won't be able to talk to him. He will either get mad or avoid your questions, he WILL NOT ever want to talk about it. I would leave him asap and if you are concerned about the other child you can always call the dept. of human services, child protective services and they will check him out. This may also be good for your child because it shows he has problems with the one he already has and would be more likely to have problems caring for your child. Good luck.
Reply:I would talk to him first. I would want to give him a chance to try to clean up his act. Get yourself calmed down, maybe write down everything you want to discuss with him, and then wait for a time when you think he is sober. Give him an ultimatum. Then, if he doesn't change is ways, talk to a lawyer. YOu can't really worry about his other kids, that is up to their mothers, but you do have your own baby to worry about.
Reply:Fist of all you need to not be near him as much if his using those kinds of drugs and not have sex w/him any more for your baby's health and it might be hard for you but honey you don't need that kind of men by you that has other babies w/other women what would be your baby's future just worry about you and your baby for now good luck =-)
Reply:the records you are keeping will help you alot and if there is some one else around him alot have them keep a record of all his actions and if the records show the same thing from two or more it cant be blown of it will be better for you. but the sooner you getvaway the better for your baby.and its work for a family member of mine,the way to get his pee is to tell him your ob needs a sampel to check for an infection so i wont pass it on to the baby and he needs to give you the sample the day of your appt. it should work cause guys are pretty stupid about what we go threw when pregers..good luck or come up with something he might believe your dr. wants pee for.
Reply:First of all by telling us about all of the incidents that have happened it really sounds like you don't want him around, and if you don't then break-up with him,Second of all file for sole custody and tell him that when and if he gets clean you will gladly let him see your baby. And last but not least it sounds like he already has more kids so it is highly unliklely that he will change get yourself and your child away from him ASAP and GOOD LUCK!
Reply:If I were in your situation I would not wait until the baby is born to take action. Keeping a jouranl of his actions is definitely a good idea. I would speak with an attorney now. There is legal aid that may assist you if you cannot afford one. Also, if you are not married-when the baby is born, the father has NO automatic rights. It is unfortunate for fathers who are good with their children but in your case it may help you. Even if you file for child support, and even if he proves he is the father he MUST obtain an attorney to get legal rights to see his child. Without doing that you do not have to let him see the baby-and if he is on drugs that is wise. If he tries for legal rights through an attorney, your journal will come in handy as well as the statements from your family. Stick to your guns and do what is best for your baby!! Good Luck and God Bless.
Reply:here my e mail it KELLY.A.HEARNS@nuim.ie. first things first my case my not have been as serious but when i was preg my bf was addicted to a few drugs though not heroin. it was anawful time for me and since being off them our relationship is brill and he has changed alot. hes a brill dad and bf. when people are on drugs they see you as the enemy. you may think you are helping him by being there but he doesnt care truely if you are or not. the best thing for you is to follow my advice it has worked brill for me. it has to be his decision to quit. i left my partner while he got help, even though i was their to take phone calls and tell him i supported him i was not actually present its not good for you, your baby or your son. you need to tell him that drugs cant be part of your kids lives nad he can choose to get clean for his kids or leave you cant stop him either way. i told my bf was the first thing he wanted his newborn to see, his drugged up face? he said no. i told my bf family all about hid drug habits, they were unaware, although i thought how can they not notice. that made a big difference it wasnt just me nagging him he had his mother too, together we all helped him. you need to do that. you cant fight this alone, and your kids are your peiority. i know at this time you feel vulnerable but you have to let him heal without the pressure of a relatioonship, you also have to be the best mother and put your babies first, if you dont your as bad as he is. get him into rehab and counselling. he can do it. my bf constantly even after a year begs if he can just have weed becasue compared to the rest of the drugs he was takin it is mild, but i have to keep saying no, he knows its me and his babies or the drug. he been clear a year and a half and doing fantasticly well. plus i share the keeping an eye on him with his mum. your bf is a very sick man and is not of sane mind so at this point he is dangerous to your kids and he is not the man he was, my bf blamed me for everything when he came off the drugs he blamed me for him takin it, they do that they blame everyone else for their own problem so be prepared for that. xxx REMOVE HIM!RIGHT NOW!
Reply:Well as long as she have enough proof and evidence that he is doing this than you have nothing to worry about. You also should find a good lawyer that will defend so well that they will take the child custody away from him and make attend rehab until he can get his self together. Good Luck!